Episode 23: The Waiting

This is the last week.  The final moments are ticking down, running through my fingers, but I'm not trying to stop them.  I have no desire to stop them, each grain of sand must pass through my cupped palms because that is how it must be.  I will not regret moments I have wasted, things I didn't do, things I did do, for that will cause me, even in its briefest measure, to waste more time.  It has happened, being here, studying abroad, meeting new friends, finding more outlets for me to fail in and others to shine if only in minute increments.  I have learned so much, not only through school or reading, but about myself and people.

I feel as though I have been walking through a haze.  I see things clearly, but it all happens so slowly.  Yet I found myself searching through the city, staring at the detailed lamps and the fickle cobble stone, attempting to imprint them in my memory lest I forget.  And I went searching for ideas, making sure I thought all the thoughts I needed to think, even catching myself pondering how and why reflection works, why the water can reflect something so clearly and wondering the purpose of that function.

I might be grasping at straws, but this is my long winded way of saying I have loved each moment here, maybe not liked or enjoyed, but appreciated for it got me here, to this moment.  But I am ready to move on.  To take the next step.  To close this chapter of my life and preceed to the next one.  Not because I have no choice and I'm begrudgingly marching onward, yet neither am I sprinting towards it.  I am ready because it needs to happen.  It is what comes next.  I must turn the page.  It's exciting, and terrifying.  I feel as though I have just starting planting my roots and become comfortable here in Florence with my new friends, and now I have to leave, and start all over.  Again, trying to replant myself while still retaining who I am.  But that's the hard part.  Not the replanting, but finding acceptance for who I am.

But for now, I am waiting, wading through the seconds and the minutes, to the next day, and the next, and onto the next chapter.

Until Next Time!
Ciao!