Episode 4: Ciao bella

Every wonder why people talk, communicate?  I do, all the time.  I wonder how people do it, how people connect.  I wonder why it is easy for some people and not others.  I try and actively remember why I tell people the things I do, because that's what I do.  I think too much, about everything.

So the reason I have a blog is to not only inform you about what I am doing but so you can learn about Italy.  Which is why I am writing this specific post and I need to let you know exactly why I am.  I didn't really want to, afraid my parents would freak out (please remember I am smart and I can handle myself).  It's so if or when you travel, and you is specifically to my friends of the female gender, you can be safe.  I luckily was provided this information during our orientation and I want to make sure you know this information in case you are not as lucky as I.

So I am not going to lie and say I didn't have preconceived notions of what or who Italian men are, about the dark features and the romance language, because I did.  But one thing I did not equate was the stereotype they had about me, a woman and especially an American woman.  They are very vocal at expressing 'affection' to a beautiful woman, very similar to catcalling, only they are much more persistent.  Men will yell "Ciao bella!" which can be flattering, until it progresses to kissing noises and "Sexy. Pretty sexy lady. Lady pretty sexy." The lady Alessandra who spoke at orientation said they talk at all women, but especially American women because no matter how Italian we could look, if we are not used to it we will respond by looking or talking back, and that will open a door for them. Which is potentially bad since because of our wonderful media, American women are deemed as easy.  All of us.  So what Alessandra said was to do what Italian women do - don't look at them and walk right on by.  To quote her, "Italian men, they could go and crawl in a hole and die, and we would not care." 

Not that you can or should just avoid eye contact with all men, but you shouldn't hold eye contact and you especially can't smile.  A friend of mine was in Prague before being in Italy, and not knowing she smiled at a guy walking by her on the street.  The guy turned around, went up to her, and asked her "Do you know me?" She said no.  He said "Do you want to f***?"  She said, NO.  Then he asked, "Well, then why did you smile at me?"  Luckily when she told him she smiles at everyone, he left her alone, but that could have been potentially very bad.

I am not saying all Italian men are bad.  I am not saying that at all!  I have met some very nice Italians of the male gender and they are wonderful human beings, but the same thing applies here as it does back home.  There are bad guys in the States, so there are bad guys here.  There are also good guys back in the states, so there are also good guys here.  People are the same people every where, we just speak different languages.  Profound thought,  I know.  But something we need to know.  That what we would do in the States will be seen differently and be responded to differently than expected.  Like coffee.  Having a cup of coffee with a guy friend you've just met is just a way we use to get to know each other.  Here though, Alessandra made it especially clear and said don't invite them over to your apartment for a cup of coffee because to them that means you are going to have sex.

I want you to explore and see the world and met new people, but you also need to be conscious of the culture in order to have the best experience possible and avoid the bad.

I promise my next post will be happier.

Until next time.
Ciao!